Do Not Let HR do this to you. It is not illegal to talk about wages in the work place. I did and got a 12% raise!
True info. Now let me add something: The power of documentation. (I was a long time steward in a nurses union.)
Remember: The “‘E” in email stands for evidence.
That cuts both ways. Be careful what you put into an email. It never really goes away and can be used against you.
But can also be a powerful tool for workplace fairness.
Case 1: Your supervisor asks you to do something you know is either illegal or against company policy. A verbal request. If things go wrong, you can count on them denying that they ever told you to do that. You go back to your desk, or wherever and you send them an email: “I just want to make sure that I understood correctly that you want me to do xxxxx” Quite often, once they see it in writing, they will change their mind about having you do it. If not, you have documentation.
Case 2: You have a schedule you like, you’ve had that schedule for a while, it works for you. Your supervisor comes to you and says “We’re really short-handed now and I need you to change your schedule just for a month until we can get someone else hired. It’s just temporary and you can have your old schedule back after a month.” A month goes by and they forget entirely that they made that promise to you. So, once again, when they make the initial request, you send them an email “I’m happy to help out temporarily, but just want to make sure I understand correctly that I will get my old schedule back after a month as you promised.” Documentation.
[Image ID: Text reading: In the middle of a busy clinic at our practice, I got pulled in by my manager to speak to HR, who must have made a special trip because she lives several states away, and told I was being 'investigated’ for discussing wages with my other employees. She told me it was against company policy to discuss wages.
Me; That’s illegal.
Them: (start italics) three slow, long seconds of staring at me blankly (end italics) Uh…
Me: That’s an illegal policy to have. The right to discuss wages is a right protected by the National Labor Relations board. I used to be in a union. I know this.
HR: Oh, this is news to me! I have been working HR for 18 years and I never knew that. Haha. Well try not do do it anyway, it makes people upset, haha.
Me: people are entitled to their opinions about what their work is worth. Bye.
I then left, and sent her several texts and emails saying I would like a copy of their company policy to see where this wage discussion policy was kept. She quickly called me back in to her office.
HR: You know what, there is no policy like that in the handbook! I double check. Sorry about the confusion, my apologies.
Me: You still haven’t given me the paper saying that we had this discussion. I am going to need some protection against retaliation.
HR: Oh haha yes here you go.
I just received a paper with legal letterhead and an apology saying there was no verbal warning or write up. Don’t even take their shit you guys. Keep talking about wages. Know your worth. /End ID]
At one of my old (shit) jobs my boss would continually come have these verbal discussions with me and would never put anything in writing I took to summarizing every discussion we had in email. Like “just to confirm that you asked me to do X by Y date and you understand that means I won’t be able to complete the previous task you gave me until Z date - 2 weeks later than originally scheduled - because you want me to prioritize this new project.
The woman would then storm back into my office screaming at me for putting the discussion in writing and arguing about pushing back the other project or whatever. At which point I would summarize that conversation in email as well. Which would bring her storming back in, rinse and repeat ad nauseum.
Anyway I cannot imagine how badly that job would have gone if I hadn’t put all her wildly unreasonable demands in writing. Bitch still hated me but she could never hang me for “missing deadlines” because I always had in writing that she’d pushed the project back because she wanted something else done first.
Paper your asses babes. Do not let them get away with shit. If they won’t put what they’re asking you to do in writing then write it up yourself and email it to them.
If you don’t have this kind of job but someday you’d might: start practicing.
After a casual conversation with friends, write up a brief synopsis of what you discussed & agreed to. (…Do not email this to friends unless you have their agreement that this would be a fun group project.) Get practice with,
“A, B, and C had a brief meeting about food options after the big game. We decided on pizza, with A&B agreeing to contribute X dollars each, and C agreeing to contribute Y dollars and also bring soda. A will call for pizza on the day of the game and schedule it for delivery at 8:30 pm.”
“A, B & C discussed movie options. A wanted something lite and fun; B wanted something scifi; C was fine with anything but horror. Nobody wanted superheroes. Decided on Lost Space Wanderers which opened last weekend; C agreed to research theatre options and report tomorrow.”
…and so on. Practice describing the results of “meetings” with friends and you’ll be ready to sum up “boss told me to set aside Project A to focus on Project B for the next two weeks” - because what’s likely is that boss didn’t say anything that clear; boss talked about how important Project B is and how the company needs parts X and Y done asap and you have the best skills for that, and when you mentioned how much time Project A was taking, boss said “eh don’t worry about that right now; marketing is breathing down my neck so we really need part X by Friday, okay?”
…at no point did you get a direct instruction.
Which is why anyone who is not the screaming-drama boss mentioned above would think it was perfectly reasonable for you to say, “I want to clarify the discussion we had earlier - you told me to focus on Project B to the exclusion of Project A for the next two weeks, even if that means Project A will miss its deadline; is that correct?”
the state of tiktok skits about having a rude customer is getting out of control i just saw one from a pharmacist and the whole skit was like someone comes in and goes “you shorted me on pills” and the pharmacist goes “no we didn’t you can see on the prescription it said to give you this many” and the patient goes “well i usually get more so i’m gonna call my doctor about this” like how is that customer being unreasonable or a karen or whatever
but the whole skit was about pain meds and we all know if someone wants more pain meds it’s bc they’re a lying addict trying to scam you and not just someone who’s confused bc their doctor made a mistake so it’s ok to post skits on tiktok portraying them as a villain for wanting the medication that was prescribed to them
Karen is quickly becoming one of those terms that’s lost all meaning, like so many before it.
Like. You ask me to define “Karen” and I’d say it’s the lady today who said she wanted a chicken sandwich then threw a fit when I told her we’ve never served chicken but could do a turkey burger, calling me stupid, insisting we’ve always given her chicken before, then insisting she speak with the manager (which is me).
Meanwhile, my 16 year old sister was telling me about a Karen at her work (she works in a really nice retirement home) who was a lady who asked for no sugar in her tea, was given sweet tea, and then explained she couldn’t drink it because she was diabetic and it might kill her. “Like, she was such a bitch,” my sister said, “She wouldn’t even drink it! Told me to send it back and get her a new one!” Which, like, maybe it’s because I’m old now, but if I messed up someone’s drink and they had a medical condition that kept them from drinking that drink, they’re not the bad guy in that situation. The proper response is to fix it, but my sister’s been raised by her phone and is on TikTok all the time and thinks that “Karen” and “mild inconvenience” are the same thing.
my brother’s friend who is diabetic is living with us right now and they once nearly died from a beverage being mis-labeled
Funny how people like to call disabled people Karens for wanting basic things like pain treatment and food that won’t kill us. If I had to pick a Karen in either of those situations it would be the pharmacist and the sister.
I’m pretty sure expecting a disabled person to die because of your mistake - and be grateful while doing it - makes you the Karen.
[/ID Tweet by @/owillis that reads: “In my lifetime I’ve seen it move from black people to gay and lesbian people to muslims and onto latinos. Right now it’s transgender people. The right just hates and hates and hates and then complains about being canceled when people say their hate is no longer acceptable. [Fixed punctuation by me] /END ID]
North American golf courses have had 50-100 years of arsenic and mercury based fungicide and herbicides applied to their soils.
Do not eat anything that has been grown on a golf course or downstream from a golf course. I know it sounds cool and radical, but you are too valuable to poison yourself with heavy metals.
Protect each other, turn your local golf course into a pollinator garden, not a sex forest or community garden.
listen I ended up regretting saying anything about this on my old blog because people will interpret literally any and every statement maliciously on this hellsite but I want to start like. a helpline for people who are like “hey I pretty much only read YA but I’m like 22 now and don’t relate to teenagers as much, it’s such a shame that there are no fun books written for adults :(” because boy HOWDY are there some fun books for adults
maybe I’ll start a big google doc or something one day but for now *deep breath*
The Beautiful Ones (Silvia Moreno-Garcia)- absolutely BUCKWILD romance with a dash of telekinesis; nonstop high society drama and misunderstanding from start to finish, happy ending guaranteed. STRONGLY recommend if you, like me, are a basic bitch who enjoys a bit of Pride and Prejudice.
Binti (Nnedi Okorafor) - a math prodigy runs away from Earth to become the first of her people to attend a prestigious university in space, but shit gets real when a crew of hostile jellyfish aliens attack her ship.
Chilling Effect (Valerie Valdes) - a spaceship captain and her crew take on a series of convoluted missions in order to rescue the captain’s sister, who’s been frozen and held for ransom.
The City of Brass (S.A. Chakraborty) - an 18th century conwoman and a mysterious djinn team up to go looking for a legendary hidden city.
The City We Became (N.K. Jemisin) - a scrappy bunch of Chosen Ones have to band together to defend New York City (which is very much alive) from a huge ass monster.
The Empress of Forever (Max Gladstone) - a lady supervillain gets blasted into space and meets an even bigger, planet-destroying evil space empress. literally WHAT is not to like?
The Empress of Salt and Fortune (Nghi Vo) - high fantasy royal drama about a woman making her way to power in the wake of a political marriage that left without friends or allies.
Escaping Exodus (Nicky Drayden) - a space-faring clan are creating their latest spaceship from the insides of a giant monster when absolutely everything goes to shit (as things are wont to do in science fiction stories).
Fierce Femmes and Notorious Liars (Kai Cheng Thom) - a trans girl runs away to the big city, where she uses her martial arts skills to team up with other trans woman and form a vigilante gang to defend their own when police look the other way. a fascinating blend of poetry and prose and magical realism.
Finna (Nino Cipri) - two exes working at an IKEA have to team up to save a customer who disappeared through one of those interdimensional portals that all IKEAs have laying around. you know how it is.
Gideon the Ninth (Tamsyn Muir) - come on, you’ve heard about this one. it’s the one with the lesbian space necromancers? yeah, that’s the one. you got it.
In the Vanishers’ Palace (Aliette de Bodard) - a Beauty and the Beast retelling based in science fiction and Vietnamese fantasy, featuring a young woman falling in love with a “beast” who’s actually a motherly dragon after becoming a tutor to the dragon’s two powerful children.
Jade City (Fonda Lee) - urban fantasy gang wars, pitting one magically enhanced family against rivals and a new drug that lets anyone mimic their abilities.
The Library of the Unwritten (A.J. Hackwith) - hell’s librarian gets sent on a quest to find a runaway soul.
The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet (Becky Chambers) - aka one of my favorite books ever, essentially slice of life science fiction following an interspecies crew of deep space truckers making the longest and most complicated delivery of their lives. very warm and fuzzy.
Mort (Terry Pratchett) - one of many MANY Discworld books, but a very good one to start with, following the adventures of a boy named Mort after he’s taken on as Death’s apprentice. you know, like the Grim Reaper? that Death.
River of Teeth (Sarah Gailey) - historical AU in which the United States imported and domesticated hippos in the Mississippi River; follows a crew of hippo-riding crooks and hooligans as they plan one heck of a caper.
Space Opera (Catherynne Valente) - a washed up rock star and his old bandmate get roped into performing in an intergalactic singing competition that will determine the fate of the entire planet Earth. full of aliens, attempted assassination, art, and emotional turmoil.
This Is How You Lose the Time War (Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone) - time-travelling assassins from rival factions fall in love in a poetic and breathless story that spans centuries and reality.
Under the Pendulum Sun (Jeannette Ng) - fairyland is real, and Victorian England is sending missionaries. a woman and her brother attempt to bring the good word to the fair folk, but start to suspect the queen might just be screwing with their heads. PEAK gothic horror with a creepy fairy twist.
Witchmark (C.L. Polk) - a doctor and former soldier with magical powers of healing is trying to live a quiet life and avoid his controlling, aristocratic family’s plans for him, only to get tangled up in a massive political conspiracy when one of his patients mysterious dies. accompanying him in his investigation is a mysterious and gorgeous faerie man. romance ensues.
The First Sister by Linden A Lewis. Three protagonists and all of them queer, a fun space opera. It’s not out yet, but I can tell you it’s really, really good. I highly recommend
Gods of Jade and Shadow another Silvia Moreno-Garcia book. It takes place in 1920s Mexico and has Mayan gods. A fun breezy book.
Kill the Queen by Jennifer Estep. If you like YA fantasy but want a little more swearing, violence and sex then this novel is for you.
The Bridge Kingdom by Danielle Jensen. This one I really enjoyed. If you like the winner’s curse then you’ll like this book.
Books I haven’t read but I’ve heard good things about
Trouble the Saints by Alaya Dawn Johnson. This one isn’t out it but I believe it’s got a black protagonist.
Empire of Sand by Tasha Suri. An Indian inspired fantasy novel. I haven’t read this one but I’ve heard good things about it.
Rage of Dragons by Evan Winters. A black fantasy novel.
The Unspoken Name by AK Larkwood. I haven’t read it but I know it’s got a lesbian protagonist.
Song of Blood and Stone by L. Penelope. Just started this book but I believe it’s for adults.
Tiger’s Daughter by K Arsenault Rivera. Lesbian protagonists and it’s still on my tbr.
I, a hearing person who likes subtitles just as a preference, shouldn’t have to read a subtitle that’s obvious nonsense, go back a couple seconds, and listen again in order to figure out what’s going on. An accessibility feature should not be the most half-assed part of a professionally made production. Scripted media has absolutely no excuse for not having subtitles or having subtitles that aren’t perfectly verbatim. Professional captioning services should be ashamed of the shoddy work that they put out. Captions should be treated as a part of the production, just like filming, editing, audio balancing, etc - and anything that releases with missing or bad captions should be seen as unfinished
They should also be of a reasonable size and not the same color as the background, and should include things said in other languages instead of just saying “speaks foreign language.”
And if the original production actually has subtitles translating the foreign language, the captions should not OBSCURE THE TRANSLATION with [speaks foreign language].
This. This, and Especially This!
The thing is, though, because of how the ADA is written, companies adhering only to the letter of the law (I’ve seen other posts here on Tumblr pointing out that), some – if not most – captioning companies actually penalize workers for actually accurately transcribing other languages.
This is why captioning should absolutely must be considered part of the entire production of a film or TV show.
I mean, if I can make proper captions for YouTube videos by opening up my Windows10 notepad, and copy-pasting my script, with a few time code, and spacing, and punctuation inserted in the right places, there’s no excuse for a full-fledged production to do the same.
Just to make things clear to everyone out there in Tumblrland, when I gripe about captions, I am griping at the STUDIOS, not the overworked and underpaid captioners.
I have been saying for YEARS that the studios need to provide their captioners with episode scripts.
Yes, and also to make it clear, I am griping about the outside captioning service companies that the studios hire, and the way the Americans with Disabilities Act was ultimately worded, to prioritize profitability for “Business” over actual accessibility for citizens.
(Personally, I categorize captioning service companies along with call centers for the types of working conditions, and the decision-making power granted [or rather, not granted] to workers).
i mean this in the gentlest way possible: you need to eat vegetables. you need to become comfortable with doing so. i do not care if you are a picky eater because of autism (hi, i used to be this person!), you need to find at least some vegetables you can eat. find a different way to prepare them. chances are you would like a vegetable you hate if you prepared it in a stew or roasted it with seasoning or included it as an ingredient in a recipe. just. please start eating better. potatoes and corn are not sufficient vegetables for a healthy diet.
Need it to be easier?
baby carrots (good dipped in ranch)
Celery sticks (add some peanut butter or cream cheese for extra flavor and protein)
Broccoli (good with ranch, cheese, or salt/pepper/butter)
Canned peas (you can microwave in a microwave-safe bowl. Good with salt/pepper/butter)
Bell peppers (cut into strips, good with cream cheese)
Canned green beans (can be microwaved in microwave-safe bowl. Good with salt/pepper/butter)
Hummus (good with crackers or tortilla chips)
Salsa (good with tortilla chips)
Guacamole (good with tortilla chips)
Need it in something?
Can’t see it:
Hummus
salsa
Guacamole
Can see but disguised flavor (can usually be found store bought or done at home and use different veggies):
Dressed up ramen - just toss in some random veggies in ramen of your choice. Pretty much everything I’ve tried goes fine with it.
Sweet and sour pork (haven’t tried it but chicken should be fine in place of pork)
Texture problems:
Need it soft:
Hummus
Salsa
Guacamole
Cooked carrots
Avocados
Beans (personally I prefer black beans and canned baked beans)
Peas (make sure to cook well, great value brand has the softest peas I’ve tried)
Cooked broccoli (note: it does smell bad while cooking)
Cooked asparagus (note: also smells bad while cooking)
Cooked zucchini and squash (good together but can be eaten separate)
You can also puree most vegetables and eat with a spoon or use them as a dip
Needs to be crunchy:
Raw carrots
Raw celery
Raw bell peppers
Salad (remember you can put whatever you want in it! Even if that means no lettuce)
Most veggies are okay raw, and are usually very crunchy
Veggies google says stay crunchy after lightly cooking:
Snap peas
Brussel sprouts
Cabbage
Water chestnut
Bamboo shoots
Broad texture tips:
You can change textures by eating raw, cooking, chopping, pureeing, etc
You can separate different textures to use in different ways (ie using broccoli tops in a soup and eating the bottoms raw)
It also really helps to think about why you dislike a vegetable. I found that I am scared of green foods so I like to use those veggies for ingredients in things they are well hidden for. I’ve also learned that watching something while eating helps because then I’m not looking at the gross green things. When possible, I also like to get help hiding it (ie using cream of celery soup in my chicken and dumplings).
it would be cool if fat dudes without big beards were considered hot sometimes too.
I realized today that the main reason for the “hot fat dude must also include beard” thing is part of the whole “fat people are required to perform a higher and more perfect expression of gender”.
like usually this sort of thing is more easily identifiable in fat women, who have to be hyper feminine to be considered “attractive” by the mainstream. but I sort of blinked today and realized, oh. fat men must have beards to be attractive for the same reason fat men must wear suits and look dapper to be attractive, just like fat women have to have perfect eyeliner and wear cute pinup clothing. higher, more intense expression of gender, executed perfectly and without flaw is required for fat people to be seen as attractive.
i think it’s important to mention a major thing a beard does, other than potentially act as part of a performance of masculinity, is cover double chins. i legitimately feel leaving that out is a major oversight. double chins are societally reviled and rarely ever depicted in supposedly fat positive art.
i’ve known fat women to literally tape the skin of their neck up under their hair to try to get rid of them– not to mention trying to contour them away with makeup. (i’ve personally done both. let’s talk about the utter misery of trying to exist in public with your skin taped and painted in place, terrified if any of it fails you will be treated as disgusting.) and fat men must grow a beard, and just the right kind of hyper-groomed beard, lest they be labeled disgusting neckbeards. fat people of all genders are compelled to “learn their angles” for photos, so they can create the illusion of not having double chins if only in still images. do you know how many photos with loved ones your fat friends duck out of because they can’t know how it will turn out, and don’t want to be mocked?
accept double chins as normal. accept that you can be attracted to people with double chins. stop requiring heightened gender performance and discomfort from fat people. stop forcing tape and makeup and beards and tactical angles on fat people.
